Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Be True To Yourself
I've been talking to friends who've had their hearts broken over the years but recently I've been getting a little frustrated because the women I'm talking to have been down this road before. I don't mean to be harsh but I think women love too hard too soon. Now I don't want to come off like I'm exempt from having my heart broken because I have. My point is once you've experienced this kind of pain it seems like you wouldn't be so quick to put yourself in the position where it could happen again. Yes there is a way to avoid getting a broken heart...you have to think like a man! Men get there hearts broken as well ,but not nearly as much as women do. I believe men set boundaries, whether they say it or not and they hold to them. I think as soon as they decide to get serious they have already trained the women to not overstep these boundaries. Think about it...it seems to me that women always turn the relationship over to the men. You could ask a woman how serious their relationship is and she'll respond "I don't know-he hasn't said anything." Why does he have to be the first decide the direction in which the relationship is going? Especially if you're wanting to go to the next level anyway. Women have got to be more aggressive as far as letting men know what we want, I know that men sense the fear when we want to talk about commitment but are too afraid that he'll back off. I remember having this conversation with my husband , we were together a long time before we married and I was okay with it. However when I was ready to get married, I was willing to leave if he didn't marry me. This is where I think the problem lies, if you're not prepared to walk away then don't even bring up marriage to him, especially if you already know he's not crazy about the idea. Again they will sense your fear, which means they are in control and when they're in control things are going to be however they want them to be. So we're trying to avoid the huge pain of a break up that comes all at once and instead we take the long drawn out route, hoping one day he'll change his mind. Remember this.... anything you chase will run.
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I am with you on this one. If you ever were in the position of loving him more...you know what this blog is all about.
ReplyDeleteI think women overlook men usually don't say out loud what they're thinking but MOST have their eye out for their Mrs. Right all along. I tell you why I think that…the average man is wired to want to have a legacy and often for the average man that’s accomplished by having a child. Men act like they don't care about marriage but the one thing I realized years later after being a young wife and mother my husband was interviewing me for the position of his wife all along. Women are out there "having fun" and well you should, but don't lose sight of the reality of it all. When you are out there "partying down" he's watching... the things that come out of your mouth...he's listening and most of all your HABITS...he's taking notes. No harm intended, often the women who have a bunch of male friends and never married are just that… JUST A FRIEND material. And yes she's got it going on but the average man is smart enough to look beyond LOOKS. There are plenty of choices for men these days and they take advantage of that. Our society teaches our men to cherish their freedom and most take that to heart. Don't get me wrong cause...I don’t believe it’s all about landing a man or husband because often the average woman does better overall SINGLE but she doesn’t learn that lesson UNTIL she has been married. All my best.