Are You Together or Not?

I'm not perfect and I certainly don't pretend to have all the answers but this type topic is what I see and hear about regularly. Today I want to address the relationships where the people involved consider themselves together-but not together. What I mean is they do all the things that couples do and I do mean ALL, but they won't commit to an exclusive relationship. Ladies please stop letting men do this to you.(If you're the one who doesn't want to commit this isn't for you.) This puts us in a BAD position, let's say the two of you had a romantic evening Wednesday, he bought you flowers, took you to your favorite restaurant and even got you a just because gift. You woke up in each others arms kissed each other good bye (you're living together in some cases) but you're not a couple, and still ,he introduces you as his friend. So it's Friday and you're ready for round two but he's hanging out with the fellas, so you go out with a girlfriend and who do you run into?...What should we call him? Your friend? Because remember you aren't together, ladies I'm really not trying to be hurtful I desperately want this kind of thing to stop! What can you do other than make a fool of yourself at this point? You've agreed that you're only friends? How can you confront him if you've agreed to this madness? This is where the rubber meets the road! If you're still interested in him there has to be some boundaries set, he has to be willing to make a commitment or you have to let him GO. If he still won't commit but is trying to hold onto you(like they often do) it's up to you to find the strength to walk away and stay away unless he has a change of heart. Yeah it is easier said than done, but it is definitely possible just tell a true friend what's going on,she'll help you-thats if she has her head on straight when it comes to this kind of thing. Don't take any of his calls, and if you have children together no conversing that doesn't pertain to them. I'm not saying for you to be mean at all-just firm, and please stop pouring out your heart and soul, it doesn't matter to him; at least not right now anyway. He can't see past himself if he's able to do things like this to you. He's well aware of the chances of him getting caught but he's all about feeding his ego. The saddest part of all of this is he knows he has a pretty good chance of getting away with it. If he's been able to string you along without a commitment for a long period of time and he's recieving all the benefits of marriage or of a committed realtionship, basically he's out of control! You've got a long road ahead of you if you're willing to put in the work. Somebody told me that the one who cares least about the relationship controls it and I agree. The person who cares least can take it or leave it, they're quick to call it quits when they don't get their way, and don't think they're bluffing. Then there's the other person who cares the most, they're all in, wiling to do whatever it takes to stay together because it really matters to them. If you're in a relationship and it's you who cares the most let me share something else that I heard, never make anyone a priority in your life if you're only an option in theirs.

Best of luck to you,
Selah